I’m so over today already. Can it just end and let’s start over tomorrow?
Maybe you will come home, maybe you won’t. You’ve worn me out so badly I just don’t know if it bothers me or not.
1. When you cut yourself, clean and bandage it.
2. Do not start smoking cigarettes because the boy who broke your heart does.
3. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
4. Cutting calories doesn’t do anything but make you unhappy.
5. If the number on the scale rises, throw it out.
6. The first girl you ever “date” is going to call the police on you even though she lives three thousand miles away, because you’re going to tell her that you’re not in a good mental state shortly after you’ve “broken up”.
7. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
8. Break up with the boy who says, “You had a sexy phase!” when you tell him that you’ve dated a girl before.
9. Dating your friends is not always the best idea, but you can still be friends after you’ve broken up with her.
10. Your mother will try to become your best friend because you’re leaving for college soon. Let her.
11. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
12. Your closest friend will stop talking to you when you leave for college.
13. It’s okay to cry.
14. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
15. When you cut yourself again, clean and bandage it. Do not be ashamed.
16. Your anxiety is going to try and control your entire life. Tell it to shut the hell up, because you’re trying to live and that task is hard enough as it is.
17. The past has a funny way of coming back in the form of you developing a crush on another friend.
18. Try not to hate yourself for breaking up with your boyfriend.
19. If you’re still smoking, apologize silently to your mother.
20. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
You are a grown pass man. That means you don’t have sleep over with your friends anymore especially when you have a girlfriend and kid to come home to. It’s bull shit, and you wonder why I get so upset all the time. Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that act like you are still 12 years old. I’m already hurt and in pain and can barely take care of Ryan as it is when you are here and then you do this shit. When ever I need surgery because I royally tucked up my back doing things that I have asked you to do I do not want to hear a single fucking bitch or moan about having to do those things. Enjoy your stupid time out with your friends that you get to do way more than ever dream of doing with mine and don’t be surprised if I don’t want anything to do with you for a long time. Grow the fuck up and act like an adult already.
So my MRI came back. I have a tear in one of my ligaments near my L5 and the beginning of degenerative disc disease. I’m 21 and my back is almost as fucked up as my 43 year old mother’s back. So I guess I know what I have to look forward to later in life. The tear is from my fall at work and the degenerative disc disease is from bad genetics and workmans comp will only help cover the medical attention needed to fix the tear, which is fine I just need to get better insurance for the other problem. I am not ready to be old, nor am I ready to feel it either.