I know that love is tough but it seems so much worse now. I want to see you and kiss you, but I know that won’t work. You need to work on yourself before you can even begin to work on this relationship. Being away from you is making me feel like the walls are crashing in on me. I have cried more today than I ever I thought I would. It felt so empowering to tell you to get out of my house, but then when you did leave I felt like I made the wrong decision, in my heart but in my head I was right. You and I aren’t good anymore, and it would be best if maybe we took a couple of days apart and then TALK. This relationship has me so exhausted that even though I’m rested I feel like I’m suffering from sleep deprivation.
I know that it takes two to make something work like this but when I’m the one putting in enough effort for the both of us… somethings wrong there. I do love you, and I still can’t see myself with anyone else, but right now I’m starting to not even see myself with you. I’m running myself into the ground trying g to keep this family going but I shouldn’t be doing it alone. I want to pick up the phone and tell you all of this, know want to talk to you now but when I hear your voice I just get angry and I can’t talk to you when I’m angry because it always turns into yelling and screaming and that’s the problem…. I really just don’t have any fight left in me anymore.
I just want the heartache and the endless thoughts of “did I make the right decision?” Or “I want to.talk to him so bad” or ” I wish he was here”, to stop.